Disaster Strategist Gifts

The missiles had failed....so it was down to Frank....and plan B.

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

Natural Disasters

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

65 Million Years Ago

Reverse psychology

"It's the Environment's Agency's new H.Q."

'It's okay, there's a trampoline under the snow.'

Out.

'I was thinking-what if the tide's OUT?'

'I hate evolution!'

Prepper Dog

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

The trap

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

Planning for flooding - 'Well, we'll cross that bridge when come to it.'

Lesser Known Active Volcanoes.

Hurricane damage to trees

"Until we know more about the nature of the threat, we should stay calm and wash out hands to keep it from spreading."

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

"You will note that their ability to comprehend, assess and process information increases dramatically when Professor Podhertz throws in the cat."

President Obama: 'You're saying, we go back to a cash only economy, and if that doesn't work, the barter system!'

Meanwhile, at the E.C.B. ...

'It's a 'while you were out' message... This should be interesting.'

"Just junk mail."

"Well, they're circling counter-clockwise, so we must be in the southern hemisphere."

House of Cards - Europe.

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

"Your new phone comes with this fire extinguisher. And we already added the number to the fire dept. to your contacts."

Angela Merkel and the Refugee Crisis

"Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you?" "Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees." "Well, I'd like to have How to Get Off an Island, by Archie Macguyver." "That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness." "We really should have our own book review show."

'Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today!'

By camouflaging himself, Ed was able to avoid being a victim of the company's massive layoffs.