Rescue Mission Strategist Gifts

HELP WANTED - man in quicksand

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

Happy Hour

"The note in the bottle said someone's stranded here, but where is he?"

65 Million Years Ago

'Arf! Arf!'

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

Nesting dolls stranded on an island send out nesting bottles with messages in each of them.

"I said, 'I'm not on duty! I just came back to get my flip-flops.'"

'I was thinking-what if the tide's OUT?'

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

'I hate evolution!'

'It looks to me like they come in peace.'

'Not likely - the last time I went in one of those, it sank!'

"First save Mister chomp-chomp!"

The trap

St Bernard delivering teddy to avalanche victim

Prepper Dog

"There goes your father again... luckily we have a rescue cat."

'Ah, 'man's best friend' and it's brought by a dog.'

"Sorry, boss. . . Google also doesn't know where your missing person is. I have no idea where to look now. . ."

"You will note that their ability to comprehend, assess and process information increases dramatically when Professor Podhertz throws in the cat."

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

'No fax paper? Ok, you'll have to ride for help.'

Rain Forest Filmcrew

"I've got a pulse!"

"Well, they're circling counter-clockwise, so we must be in the southern hemisphere."

"Fire department? Yes, this is a cat and, well, big surprise here, I'm stuck in a tree... But here's the odd part—I am staring at no less than five other cats, all stuck in this same tree. So weird, huh?"

"Throw the rope!! It's a quicksandwich!!"

"This is a very nice thing you’re doing."