Email Glut Conqueror Gifts

'How'd you like to sign up for our online service and convert all your junk mail to spam?'

Rage.

Second lifeReal life.

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

'The worst thing is not having access to your e-mail.'

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

"...when you're through in there, my kids room could use a demonstration too."

'Hand over the last one now kid or you're getting my fist for Christmas!'

"But mom, all you said was 'get all your stuff up off the floor!' "

"I'm so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all."

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

Female chemotherapy warrior.

'I delete so much junk mail, my trash can icon turned into a dumpster.'

"I hit reply all too many times."

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

"I finally got myself organized and unsubscribed from all those-e-mails."

' I see Brad's playing his new video game again.'

"Well that email could have been a meeting."

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

'I am not a robot.'

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

'Rubbing it no longer produces a genie. Now you need a username, password and an unreadable CAPTCHA.'

'If the best things in life are free, we have too many of the worst things.'

'Now that everybody can talk, I keep worrying about what people will say.'

"I reached Level Three of Super Mario Brothers!"

"I only wish emails could deliver papercuts."

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

"Erik does most of his plundering online these days"

'Let me guess. Your boss sent you a nasty e-mail, and you're composing your reply.'

'I finally got rid of all my junk mail.' - 'You have no new messages.' - 'On reflection, I miss the false sense of popularity.'

"Yes! I defeated the invading forces! I am master and commander... I am a warlord!"

"Our planet no longer wants to receive email from yours."

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