Email Glut Conqueror Pillows

'How'd you like to sign up for our online service and convert all your junk mail to spam?'

Rage.

Second lifeReal life.

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

'The worst thing is not having access to your e-mail.'

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

"...when you're through in there, my kids room could use a demonstration too."

"But mom, all you said was 'get all your stuff up off the floor!' "

"I'm so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all."

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

Female chemotherapy warrior.

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

'I delete so much junk mail, my trash can icon turned into a dumpster.'

"I hit reply all too many times."

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

"I finally got myself organized and unsubscribed from all those-e-mails."

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

"Well that email could have been a meeting."

'I am not a robot.'

' I see Brad's playing his new video game again.'

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

'Rubbing it no longer produces a genie. Now you need a username, password and an unreadable CAPTCHA.'

'If the best things in life are free, we have too many of the worst things.'

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

"I reached Level Three of Super Mario Brothers!"

"I only wish emails could deliver papercuts."

'Now that everybody can talk, I keep worrying about what people will say.'

"Erik does most of his plundering online these days"

'I finally got rid of all my junk mail.' - 'You have no new messages.' - 'On reflection, I miss the false sense of popularity.'

"Our planet no longer wants to receive email from yours."

Phone Signal Problems: "Can you hear me now?"

"Yes! I defeated the invading forces! I am master and commander... I am a warlord!"