Email Inbox Conqueror Gifts

"I finally got myself organized and unsubscribed from all those-e-mails."

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"My email is down... talk to me."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

Out and In.

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

Spam in Hell.

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

Executive Asks Death To Wait

'The worst thing is not having access to your e-mail.'

"You should be able to get through your emails during the working day then you could use the rest of your life to do some of the work."

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

E-waste - 'Well there's another hour gone on email.'

"Outta my way. I need to check my email!"

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

"I'm so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all."

'Im so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all.'

'Everyone's in a rush these days!'

The Horn of Unanswered Email

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

"Some e-mails just can't be ignored!"

"Our ideal employee will be able to answer email in their sleep."

"Are you sending emails or ZZZ mails?"

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

'We're looking for people who like to take work home.'

"I hit reply all too many times."

'I delete so much junk mail, my trash can icon turned into a dumpster.'

Do your emails stand out from the rest?