Email Warrior Gifts

E-mail message - You have a message that isn't junk!

"This one's not from a Nigerian prince, it's from an Egyptian Pharaoh. Could be a pyramid scheme."

'I've located the source of all that annoying spam we've been receiving...preparing to destroy.'

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

"All right, back to answering e-mails and sighing."

'The worst thing is not having access to your e-mail.'

"How many of these 'email blasts' are we talking about, General."

"Unsubscribe us or face annihilation."

Out of office.

"Since you have not responded to the emails requesting a donation, I thought I would bring them to you in person."

'I delete so much junk mail, my trash can icon turned into a dumpster.'

"I got your email to work – but it can only send and receive spam."

"It's that sense of dread again, about the state of my inbox."

"This message has no subject and the contents aren't much to write home about either."

"Well that email could have been a meeting."

"Our planet no longer wants to receive email from yours."

"Refusal to Obey a Police Officer. You?"

"Why haven't you kept me up to date on the Velasco trucking account?"

"I hit reply all too many times."

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

"Congratulations! Your name has been selected to be removed from our mailing list."

"This the nastiest email that I ever read. I want to use it as our new template."

Amateur Spam.

'Spam - Next 8 miles.

'We need to add an eleventh - 'thou shalt not spam.'

"Darn it, she's unreachable when she gets her inbox down to zero."

"Can't these people read? I put a sign saying 'No Solicitors' on my website, and I'm still getting spam."

'No, now I'm just fighting inbox inequality."

We know your e-mail address!

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"My email is down... talk to me."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

Out and In.

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'