Email Warriors Gifts

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

Snare in the inbox.

Unsurprisingly, it was auto-correct that introduced evil into the world.

"You need some low-impact exercise. I suggest deleting all the spam I get as it comes in for the next month."

"I only wish emails could deliver papercuts."

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"My email is down... talk to me."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

Out and In.

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

Spam in Hell.

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

Executive Asks Death To Wait

'The worst thing is not having access to your e-mail.'

"You should be able to get through your emails during the working day then you could use the rest of your life to do some of the work."

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

E-waste - 'Well there's another hour gone on email.'

"Outta my way. I need to check my email!"

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

"I'm so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all."

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

'Im so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all.'

'Everyone's in a rush these days!'

Messenger of the gods in the digital age.

The Horn of Unanswered Email

"Some e-mails just can't be ignored!"