Spam Warriors Gifts

'Oh no! We're being spammed again!'

'The worst thing is not having access to your e-mail.'

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

"I hit reply all too many times."

'I delete so much junk mail, my trash can icon turned into a dumpster.'

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

"Well that email could have been a meeting."

Meet the People of the Internet

'To placate the public, we've done away with the cash bonuses and have found another way to compensate you.'

Your computer is not fully protected...

"Good news, your majesty. We may already be a winner."

"I hypnotized him into exercising every time he gets a spam in his inbox. He works out 50 times a day."

Spam.

"I only wish emails could deliver papercuts."

"We have to develop a new way to build our customer base. Antispam software has put a dent in our marketing strategy."

'Let me guess. Your boss sent you a nasty e-mail, and you're composing your reply.'

"This the nastiest email that I ever read. I want to use it as our new template."

'No dear, there's no post - only junk mail.'

"Your compulsive talk about crazy diets, get rich schemes, and mail order drugs -- your pacemaker's been hacked and you're spamming."

Pandora's Inbox

Amateur Spam.

'No, now I'm just fighting inbox inequality."

"Our planet no longer wants to receive email from yours."

'Yes, I'm gaining weight! Deleting spam all morning makes me really hungry for lunch!'

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

'He's our Spam expert!'

E-mail message - You have a message that isn't junk!

"I know what the 'e' in 'email' stand for...endless."

"All right, back to answering e-mails and sighing."

Out of office.

"How many of these 'email blasts' are we talking about, General."

"Unsubscribe us or face annihilation."