Spam Filter Warrior Gifts

oh just the usual junk mail

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

'The worst thing is not having access to your e-mail.'

"I hit reply all too many times."

'I delete so much junk mail, my trash can icon turned into a dumpster.'

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

"Well that email could have been a meeting."

'To placate the public, we've done away with the cash bonuses and have found another way to compensate you.'

Meet the People of the Internet

Your computer is not fully protected...

"I hypnotized him into exercising every time he gets a spam in his inbox. He works out 50 times a day."

"Good news, your majesty. We may already be a winner."

Spam.

"We have to develop a new way to build our customer base. Antispam software has put a dent in our marketing strategy."

'Let me guess. Your boss sent you a nasty e-mail, and you're composing your reply.'

'No, now I'm just fighting inbox inequality."

Pandora's Inbox

'Yes, I'm gaining weight! Deleting spam all morning makes me really hungry for lunch!'

"Our planet no longer wants to receive email from yours."

'Oh no! We're being spammed again!'

"Your compulsive talk about crazy diets, get rich schemes, and mail order drugs -- your pacemaker's been hacked and you're spamming."

E-mail

'No dear, there's no post - only junk mail.'

"This the nastiest email that I ever read. I want to use it as our new template."

Amateur Spam.

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

'He's our Spam expert!'

E-mail message - You have a message that isn't junk!

"I know what the 'e' in 'email' stand for...endless."

"All right, back to answering e-mails and sighing."

Out of office.

"How many of these 'email blasts' are we talking about, General."