Spam Buster Gifts

Computer - 'I see you're on the telemarketers 'do-not-call' list...however, you're not on our 'do-not-spam' list!'

My spam sketchbook; or, who are these people?

'Karen, you know that stupid chain e-mail that you deleted? 'Forward within two hours or a hideous spell will befall you!' I just got it too! Dee-lete!'

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

'I delete so much junk mail, my trash can icon turned into a dumpster.'

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

Meet the People of the Internet

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

'To placate the public, we've done away with the cash bonuses and have found another way to compensate you.'

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

Ask Sadie

"Didn't anyone ever warn you about opening an e-mail from someone you don't know?"

Your computer is not fully protected...

Spam.

"I hypnotized him into exercising every time he gets a spam in his inbox. He works out 50 times a day."

"We have to develop a new way to build our customer base. Antispam software has put a dent in our marketing strategy."

Berlitz guide to Scamese

'Yes, I'm gaining weight! Deleting spam all morning makes me really hungry for lunch!'

'Oh no! We're being spammed again!'

"Our planet no longer wants to receive email from yours."

"Your compulsive talk about crazy diets, get rich schemes, and mail order drugs -- your pacemaker's been hacked and you're spamming."

'No dear, there's no post - only junk mail.'

Pandora's Inbox

Amateur Spam.

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

'He's our Spam expert!'

"I know what the 'e' in 'email' stand for...endless."

'Damn! I think the FCA have rumbled us.'

'I've located the source of all that annoying spam we've been receiving...preparing to destroy.'

"How many of these 'email blasts' are we talking about, General."

'So you say the cash box was stolen.'

Internet crap.

'But monsieur I can get it for you so cheap, all the hard work has been done, it just needs the cladding.'