Spam Slayer Gifts

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

"We have to develop a new way to build our customer base. Antispam software has put a dent in our marketing strategy."

Your computer is not fully protected...

Internet crap.

To unsubscribe to our emails, just follow 630 easy steps

'Another ad for penis-enlargement.'

'Yes, I'm gaining weight! Deleting spam all morning makes me really hungry for lunch!'

Next time don't be so quick to hit 'unsubscribe.'

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

'I delete so much junk mail, my trash can icon turned into a dumpster.'

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

'To placate the public, we've done away with the cash bonuses and have found another way to compensate you.'

Meet the People of the Internet

"I hypnotized him into exercising every time he gets a spam in his inbox. He works out 50 times a day."

Spam.

"Good news, your majesty. We may already be a winner."

Pandora's Inbox

"Our planet no longer wants to receive email from yours."

'Oh no! We're being spammed again!'

"Your compulsive talk about crazy diets, get rich schemes, and mail order drugs -- your pacemaker's been hacked and you're spamming."

'No dear, there's no post - only junk mail.'

'He's our Spam expert!'

"I know what the 'e' in 'email' stand for...endless."

"How many of these 'email blasts' are we talking about, General."

'Wow! I've got one from someone I know!'

'Okay, sir, can you identify the spam?'

'This will kill the spores.'

"I create spam for the internet."

'We need to add an eleventh - 'thou shalt not spam.'

"If you want proof that your email is working again, then you can read all the spam you just received."

CR was here. Tony rules! Hello, I'm a Nigerian general's widow. I have a large amount of securities that I need to transfer. Graffiti was bad enough, but now we have graffiti spam!

The eMailman's Creed