Spam Strategist Gifts

"How many of these 'email blasts' are we talking about, General."

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."

My Spam Sketchbook

'I delete so much junk mail, my trash can icon turned into a dumpster.'

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

Meet the People of the Internet

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

Your computer is not fully protected...

'Right, you peck his left paw, I'll go for the right one.'

Spam.

"We have to develop a new way to build our customer base. Antispam software has put a dent in our marketing strategy."

"Your compulsive talk about crazy diets, get rich schemes, and mail order drugs -- your pacemaker's been hacked and you're spamming."

'Oh no! We're being spammed again!'

'Yes, I'm gaining weight! Deleting spam all morning makes me really hungry for lunch!'

Pandora's Inbox

'No dear, there's no post - only junk mail.'

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

'He's our Spam expert!'

"I know what the 'e' in 'email' stand for...endless."

Mailwoman looks at mailboxes marked Mail - Spam.

Internet crap.

"Mmm, Spam."

"I love bonfires. Thanks to all the junk mail I get, I have one everyday."

'Wow! I've got one from someone I know!'

'Okay, sir, can you identify the spam?'

Spam on Mousetrap

The eMailman's Creed

Pay more attention to your mail. All those pre-approved credit cards should raise your self-esteem.

'Another ad for penis-enlargement.'

'We need to add an eleventh - 'thou shalt not spam.'

"If you want proof that your email is working again, then you can read all the spam you just received."

"I create spam for the internet."