Spam Strategist Gifts

"How many of these 'email blasts' are we talking about, General."

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."

My Spam Sketchbook

'I delete so much junk mail, my trash can icon turned into a dumpster.'

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

Meet the People of the Internet

'To placate the public, we've done away with the cash bonuses and have found another way to compensate you.'

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

Your computer is not fully protected...

'Right, you peck his left paw, I'll go for the right one.'

Spam.

"We have to develop a new way to build our customer base. Antispam software has put a dent in our marketing strategy."

'Oh no! We're being spammed again!'

"Your compulsive talk about crazy diets, get rich schemes, and mail order drugs -- your pacemaker's been hacked and you're spamming."

'No dear, there's no post - only junk mail.'

'Yes, I'm gaining weight! Deleting spam all morning makes me really hungry for lunch!'

Pandora's Inbox

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

'He's our Spam expert!'

"I know what the 'e' in 'email' stand for...endless."

Mailwoman looks at mailboxes marked Mail - Spam.

Internet crap.

"I love bonfires. Thanks to all the junk mail I get, I have one everyday."

"Mmm, Spam."

'Wow! I've got one from someone I know!'

'Okay, sir, can you identify the spam?'

CR was here. Tony rules! Hello, I'm a Nigerian general's widow. I have a large amount of securities that I need to transfer. Graffiti was bad enough, but now we have graffiti spam!

'We need to add an eleventh - 'thou shalt not spam.'

Spam on Mousetrap

"I create spam for the internet."

"If you want proof that your email is working again, then you can read all the spam you just received."

'Another ad for penis-enlargement.'

The eMailman's Creed