Voice Mail Warrior Gifts

Tell you what --- Why don't you transfer me back to the recording.

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

Ban on Free Speech

Soldier armed with a pen.

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

"I wish we were just called T-Rex..."

'The worst thing is not having access to your e-mail.'

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

'Coleridge'

'I delete so much junk mail, my trash can icon turned into a dumpster.'

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

"I hit reply all too many times."

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

Censorship is killing free society.

"Well that email could have been a meeting."

Meet the People of the Internet

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

Science vs. Literature, an Eternal Battle.

"He's joined a whatsapp group for fans of Matt Hancock's Whatsapp messages."

Call Center.

"I only wish emails could deliver papercuts."

"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."

"Yeah, well it hurts when you stab me with your words."

'Let me guess. Your boss sent you a nasty e-mail, and you're composing your reply.'

Cockfight of words

"Our planet no longer wants to receive email from yours."

Redaction: The pen is mightier than the word

E-mail

Less than Ultimate Fighting.

Woe Befall the Linguistic Interloper

"This the nastiest email that I ever read. I want to use it as our new template."

'No, now I'm just fighting inbox inequality."