Text Message Warrior Gifts

''You still haven't claimed for the accident you had.' Ha ha, what #@~## accident!!'

Less than Ultimate Fighting.

Polly txt speak

Oymoticons

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"So, hw ws yr smmr?"

Giving Things Up For Lent.

'The worst thing is not having access to your e-mail.'

'I delete so much junk mail, my trash can icon turned into a dumpster.'

'Are you going to answer my text message or not?'

"I hit reply all too many times."

"Hang on- I'm receiving a textured message."

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

No, boss, we still don't have an emoticon that says 'I'm laughing all the way to the bank.''

I'd like to order a power outage. Huh? My wife's on her phone all day, my son plays video games nonstop. My boss finds me by email wherever and whenever. My pager rings 'round the clock! Say again? I was text messaging. Pull the plug, man!

Hectare?

'Today's sex text is the song of Solomon.'

"Well that email could have been a meeting."

'Yes, a winky face is correcy...But in ancient times, the semicolon was actually used to separate archaic written devices know as 'complete sentences.''

"He's joined a whatsapp group for fans of Matt Hancock's Whatsapp messages."

"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."

Nil by text - "Don't worry, Mr. Smith, we will soon cure your addiction."

'Let me guess. Your boss sent you a nasty e-mail, and you're composing your reply.'

Romeo and Juliet 2.0

"Which one is the emoji for immense relief, coupled with general underlying disappointment, tinged with cynicism, anger and apprehension?"

"Oh man... there is nothing like a cigarette after a passionate night of 'texting'!"

'No, now I'm just fighting inbox inequality."

'I just got a hex message from Zelda.'

Amateur Spam.

'You're entitled to one text message, 160 characters max, so you better make it count.'

"This the nastiest email that I ever read. I want to use it as our new template."

'If you can hear me, Larry Gligstein, please send a text to 555-703-7193

"Our planet no longer wants to receive email from yours."

E-mail message - You have a message that isn't junk!