Email Explorer Gifts

'This looks like a good spot to catch up on our email.'

"I thought that assignment from my school was spam."

"In my experience, there's nothing good at the end of a trail like this."

'All from your mother.'

"So that's where the trash goes!"

I bought you an iTunes gift card. Why would you do that? It's a peace offering. Ok, where is it? It's digital. I set up an email account for you, and sent it there. Now you can download content. You made me a virtual address, and sent an intangible gift to it, that'll let me download things I can never even touch? What kind of lazy @#$% gift is that? What happened to giving people something you picked out for them, that they can touch and caress, and re-gift as they mock your bad taste behind yo

'I'm not complaining, but should all of my e-mail be from Korean girls?'

'Hey, the money we invested to improve our IT systems finally pays! My 649 spam mails are surrounded by sneering smileys now!'

"In my trashcan again, eh?"

E-mail

"My email is down... talk to me."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

Out and In.

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

Spam in Hell.

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

"With this company, it's like 'Adventure Capital."

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

Executive Asks Death To Wait

'The worst thing is not having access to your e-mail.'

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

"You should be able to get through your emails during the working day then you could use the rest of your life to do some of the work."

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

E-waste - 'Well there's another hour gone on email.'

"Outta my way. I need to check my email!"