Spam Conqueror Gifts

"I used to hate spam until I figured out how to make $78,000,000 sending it."

Another spampede?

"As night falls, You return to claim what isn't yours. . . come at me, sea devil!!!"

"I'm so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all."

'I delete so much junk mail, my trash can icon turned into a dumpster.'

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

"I finally got myself organized and unsubscribed from all those-e-mails."

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

Meet the People of the Internet

'I am not a robot.'

'To placate the public, we've done away with the cash bonuses and have found another way to compensate you.'

'Rubbing it no longer produces a genie. Now you need a username, password and an unreadable CAPTCHA.'

Man rides on a vaccine in a sea of COVID-19 molecules.

Your computer is not fully protected...

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

Spam.

"Erik does most of his plundering online these days"

'Now that everybody can talk, I keep worrying about what people will say.'

"We have to develop a new way to build our customer base. Antispam software has put a dent in our marketing strategy."

'I finally got rid of all my junk mail.' - 'You have no new messages.' - 'On reflection, I miss the false sense of popularity.'

"Your compulsive talk about crazy diets, get rich schemes, and mail order drugs -- your pacemaker's been hacked and you're spamming."

"Each time someone enters this house, they'll be doused in antibacterial soap. It's just during the flu season."

Phone Signal Problems: "Can you hear me now?"

Pandora's Inbox

'Yes, I'm gaining weight! Deleting spam all morning makes me really hungry for lunch!'

'No dear, there's no post - only junk mail.'

'Oh no! We're being spammed again!'

Vaccines Stopping the Wave

E-mail

Darn it, you're touching my half of the love seat again.

It was a short-cut through the hospital kitchens that Albert was first approached by a member of the antibiotic resistance.

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

Tough germ.