Elderparent Gifts

While there's life, there's hope.

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

Speed Dating.

"Careful."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

'I'll see your diuretic and raise you three anti-depressants.'

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

Grandpa gets more than he bargained for when his lawnmower takes flight as a helicopter would.

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

"Forget the palm dearie...I'll read yer race."

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

'I'm fighting ageing.'

Toothless Meal

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

Dino Snack

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

"The Lord brings people together for reasons only he knows."

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

"The nurse thinks she's sneaky, but I know my meds are in the peanut butter."

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

"And I got these stretch marks on my butt from sitting in the house for months back in 2020."

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'