Elder Family Member Gifts

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

"Are you regular?"

'Do you remember when they just held jumble sales?'

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

Licensed Therapist

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

"I didn't spark joy."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

'Whoops! I think you've arrived a little too early for school today, Dad!'

Dancing Doctor

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Cardiac Recovery.

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

"Little help?"

Very Difficult Conversations

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Swinging

No caption (In the first frame a dog rides in a car with his head hanging out the window. The dog is smiling. In the next three frames the view gets progressively closer to his ear, until on the fourth frame a closeup is shown of a flea on the dogs ear. He too, is smiling).

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

Photographer Phone: 'Okay everybody, SMILE!'

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

Babies vs. Dogs