Education Skeptics Gifts

"You wanted me to go to that small college..they've gone out of business, and me degree was recalled."

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

"I don't mind them counting the days 'til school's out, but I wish they wouldn't do it on their fingers."

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

Go to M.I.T., they said. You'll do great things, they said.

'My father says, these intelligence tests are biased towards the intelligent.'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

'Remind me again, Dad. Why did you want me to get that college degree?'

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 7)- the Eternal Problem of Youth and Pedantry

"What's the point of school? We can just look all this stuff up on wikipedia."

'Going to school is NOT an abusive relationship!'

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

"What did I learn in school today...I learned I don't like school!"

"Enjoy my first day at school? You mean there'll be others?"

'What part of school don't you understand?', 'The part between the bells ringing.'

"Why do I have to work hard at school? I can buy a degree on the internet!"

'Dad said that experience is the best teacher, so I cut school and went to the video arcade.'

Useful Degrees:"Bachelor of Waitressing

"Our curriculum focusses less on rote memorization and more on putzing around."

"I see you graduated Summa Cum Laude, but then didn't your whole graduating class."

'I'm what you can't learn at Harvard Business school.'

"My teacher says I lack 'intellectual curiosity,' whatever that is."

Fish "I hate going back to school"

GET YOUR G. E. D. 50 CENTS

I hate to do this but you know the high costs of college.

'Those are just to hide the cracks in the wall.'