Education Sceptics Gifts

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"I don't mind them counting the days 'til school's out, but I wish they wouldn't do it on their fingers."

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

Go to M.I.T., they said. You'll do great things, they said.

'Boy or girl, straight or gay - I don't care as long as it's science-literate and non-republican.'

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

"We can determine your child's gender, IQ and student debt load."

'My father says, these intelligence tests are biased towards the intelligent.'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

'Remind me again, Dad. Why did you want me to get that college degree?'

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 7)- the Eternal Problem of Youth and Pedantry

'Going to school is NOT an abusive relationship!'

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

"What's the point of school? We can just look all this stuff up on wikipedia."

"What did I learn in school today...I learned I don't like school!"

'What part of school don't you understand?', 'The part between the bells ringing.'

"Why do I have to work hard at school? I can buy a degree on the internet!"

Remembering the words of his 8th grade Algebra teacher, Moose bought his old middle school and made a mockery out of it.

'Dad said that experience is the best teacher, so I cut school and went to the video arcade.'

"Our curriculum focusses less on rote memorization and more on putzing around."

"My teacher says I lack 'intellectual curiosity,' whatever that is."

"I see you graduated Summa Cum Laude, but then didn't your whole graduating class."

''Increase education funding'? -- You want the people to get SMART?'