Eccentric Tourist Gifts

"You're getting close. This is the gift shop."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Use your imagination.

"Fresh pepper?"

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

Imagine

Statue is moved to hold up the leaning tower of Pisa.

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

Open House of Horrors

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

"He says he's not running away. . . he's just going off the grid."

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

"Who are These People?"

At this exact location on May 23rd 1957, a bunch of people mounted this plaque to commemorate a surplus of funding for the Commemorative Plaque Society.

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

'I know, but he's a genius.'

Touring Holidays - On the P***

Annoying xylophone solicitors.

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

Limbo Day at the Palace

"You there - shoo!"

Human and alien exchange sex toys.

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

Parisian Misguided Tours.

'To hell with the rules.'

Despite hard evidence to the contrary it was still considered lucky to kiss the Blarney Spike

Woman painting a man drowning.

Man talking to a tree.

"Oh and, incidentally, Whit, I'm afraid there's room for only one haircut like this around here."