Eccentric Entertainment Seeker Gifts

Annoying xylophone solicitors.

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Use your imagination.

The First Fire Stick

Wolf Karaoke

"Avant-garde jazz hands"

'Sorry, miss. It seems to be stuck!'

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

Open House of Horrors

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

"I gotta cut you off, Pierre. That's your tenth 'pretend Manhattan' since you got here."

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

"You're getting close. This is the gift shop."

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

'Don't you ever knock?'

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

Chuck played mean hair guitar.

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

Cocktail Piano Bar.

'He swallowed some of his acrylic paints and now he's artsy fartsy.'

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

'500 channels...surely there must be something worth watching.'

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

"No animals were harmed during this performance!"

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

'You mean you don't have a bowling alley on board? And you call yourself a cruise ship?'

"You there - shoo!"

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

'I can't help but wonder if somewhere, someone isn't watching a TV with a larger screen.'

Thanks to hypnosis, he quit smoking cold-turkey. Everyone seemed real supportive until he came strutting into work, half-naked, gobbling incoherently.