Eccentric Tourer Gifts

Open House of Horrors

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Use your imagination.

Imagine

"You're getting close. This is the gift shop."

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

'I know, but he's a genius.'

'Wow - My kind of man.'

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

"Who are These People?"

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

'This elusive self-portrait of the artist is perhaps his most famous work. It was purchased, by the museum, for one hundred and ninety million dollars and is now valued at 900 million dollars...'

Human and alien exchange sex toys.

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

"You there - shoo!"

'To hell with the rules.'

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

"Oh and, incidentally, Whit, I'm afraid there's room for only one haircut like this around here."

"He's nuts. She's nuts. All three young ones are nuts. The dog is nuts. And the old lady upstairs is nuts, too."

Man talking to a tree.

"Come at me, Bro!"

Clown escaping a shipwreck on an inflatable unicycle.

The Water Diviner

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

"Whatever you do don't get onto the topic of his wacky socks."

You are what you collect.

"I collect fridge magnets that look like little fridges."

'I bet you think you have known interesting people before, not like me. I am truly fascinating.'

'...Joseph A.Peabody seeks out devious methods to add new excitement to his life.'