Eccentric Boater Gifts

101 uses of a dead cat: life ring

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Use your imagination.

"Avant-garde jazz hands"

Imagine

Open House of Horrors

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

"You're getting close. This is the gift shop."

'Don't you ever knock?'

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

'I know, but he's a genius.'

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

'He swallowed some of his acrylic paints and now he's artsy fartsy.'

"Who are These People?"

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

Buider, "How crazy do you want this paving, mad,or completely wacko?"

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

Human and alien exchange sex toys.

"I made it myself. It's a lava lamp."

"You there - shoo!"

"So that's my presentation: Could I have 100 million for the startup?"

'To hell with the rules.'

'Agghh...I've done something practical, taken up by industry...and I've been thrown out of the Mad Scientist Club!'

Lighting a Pipe

The Haroplane

"He's nuts. She's nuts. All three young ones are nuts. The dog is nuts. And the old lady upstairs is nuts, too."

Man talking to a tree.

Clown escaping a shipwreck on an inflatable unicycle.