Eccentric Tourer Pillows

Open House of Horrors

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Use your imagination.

Imagine

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

"He says he's not running away. . . he's just going off the grid."

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

"You're getting close. This is the gift shop."

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

'Wow - My kind of man.'

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

'I know, but he's a genius.'

"Who are These People?"

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

"You there - shoo!"

'This elusive self-portrait of the artist is perhaps his most famous work. It was purchased, by the museum, for one hundred and ninety million dollars and is now valued at 900 million dollars...'

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

Human and alien exchange sex toys.

'To hell with the rules.'

"Come at me, Bro!"

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

"He's nuts. She's nuts. All three young ones are nuts. The dog is nuts. And the old lady upstairs is nuts, too."

Man talking to a tree.

Clown escaping a shipwreck on an inflatable unicycle.

"Oh and, incidentally, Whit, I'm afraid there's room for only one haircut like this around here."

The Water Diviner

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

You are what you collect.

"I collect fridge magnets that look like little fridges."

"Whatever you do don't get onto the topic of his wacky socks."

'...Joseph A.Peabody seeks out devious methods to add new excitement to his life.'