Eccentric Tourist T-Shirts

"You're getting close. This is the gift shop."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Use your imagination.

"Fresh pepper?"

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

Imagine

Open House of Horrors

Statue is moved to hold up the leaning tower of Pisa.

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

At this exact location on May 23rd 1957, a bunch of people mounted this plaque to commemorate a surplus of funding for the Commemorative Plaque Society.

"Who are These People?"

'I know, but he's a genius.'

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

Touring Holidays - On the P***

Annoying xylophone solicitors.

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

Limbo Day at the Palace

Human and alien exchange sex toys.

"You there - shoo!"

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

Parisian Misguided Tours.

'To hell with the rules.'

Despite hard evidence to the contrary it was still considered lucky to kiss the Blarney Spike

"Oh and, incidentally, Whit, I'm afraid there's room for only one haircut like this around here."

Man talking to a tree.

Woman painting a man drowning.

"He's nuts. She's nuts. All three young ones are nuts. The dog is nuts. And the old lady upstairs is nuts, too."