Offbeat Tourist T-Shirts

"We've TRIED sun, surf , and sand. Do you have anything in the way of darkness, darkness, despair?"

'They say it's an exact replica of the largest ball of twine Kansas.'

'Sir, the Arctic offseason is 24-hour night, and the temperature below zero!'

"Ahhh... close enough."

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

Halfway across the Hudson River Billy Joe realized he wasn't going to Elvis Island.

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

Statue is moved to hold up the leaning tower of Pisa.

Devil's Tower Park. Ernie, this nice ranger has offered to show us the basement gift shop.

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"You're getting close. This is the gift shop."

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

The Statue of Liberty holding up an ice-cream.

"Sorry, sir. The baggage must match the passenger."

At this exact location on May 23rd 1957, a bunch of people mounted this plaque to commemorate a surplus of funding for the Commemorative Plaque Society.

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

Touring Holidays - On the P***

'You would think that our agent could make better travel arrangements for us than this.'

Parisian Misguided Tours.

'I envisioned them praying to something entirely different.'

Limbo Day at the Palace

"Would you like to buy a commemorative photo of your firing?"

"At least we're not spending money on gas for travel."

"But your room does have a sea view, it's 43 miles over there behind the power station."

Despite hard evidence to the contrary it was still considered lucky to kiss the Blarney Spike

Wow! Look what you get when you hire a ride service right in front of a comic book convention!

Woman painting a man drowning.

"You're the one who wanted to go someplace off the beaten track - you ask him what's gluten free."

"I should've known better than to AirBNB from a bird."