Eccentric Relaxation Artist Gifts

A bunny watches TV while wearing slippers shaped like a human head.

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

"Avant-garde jazz hands"

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

'Don't you ever knock?'

"Sometimes, when business is brisk, I have to settle for no nap at all."

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

Man on lilo keeps getting irritated by flies/birds.

'He swallowed some of his acrylic paints and now he's artsy fartsy.'

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

Odd Spas

Stress Buster - Doodle Maze.

"Colin's relaxation classes seem to have worked."

Buider, "How crazy do you want this paving, mad,or completely wacko?"

"Derek has re-invented himself."

He did special exercises to stay calm during his evaluation.

'This elusive self-portrait of the artist is perhaps his most famous work. It was purchased, by the museum, for one hundred and ninety million dollars and is now valued at 900 million dollars...'

"Love the exposed chessboard."

'It's from my strange-but-not-as-strange-as-I-am-now period.'

Rich Man with Lawn Mower followed by Maid with Hoover.

Tom Waits.

Dog carrying a bone on his head.

"Instead of careful interpretation of the prose, maybe try pronouncing even the most basic words like an insane person?"

'I waste Sunday worrying about Monday, so I compensate by making Friday my Saturday.'

'For this dish we're going to need two bottles of good quality red wine. And that's before we even start cooking.'

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

'Jaques Frisson, His piano,his songs, his pipe and his slippers'

Artist painting his brush instead of model.

"Look what I found. You wouldn't believe the things that people throw out."

If you keep sitting on your paintings, you're going to become an impressionist!