Eccentric Expressionist Gifts

"Instead of careful interpretation of the prose, maybe try pronouncing even the most basic words like an insane person?"

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Use your imagination.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"Avant-garde jazz hands"

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

'Don't you ever knock?'

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

'He swallowed some of his acrylic paints and now he's artsy fartsy.'

Modern Art 'D Hirst' and 'A Nutter'

Buider, "How crazy do you want this paving, mad,or completely wacko?"

"Derek has re-invented himself."

"Rapunzel? Rapunzel moved out years ago. I'm Bruce, and I have a stack of old newspaper clippings I'd like to show you."

'This elusive self-portrait of the artist is perhaps his most famous work. It was purchased, by the museum, for one hundred and ninety million dollars and is now valued at 900 million dollars...'

"Love the exposed chessboard."

'It's from my strange-but-not-as-strange-as-I-am-now period.'

Rich Man with Lawn Mower followed by Maid with Hoover.

Tom Waits.

"Come at me, Bro!"

"I'm waiting in for a plumber."

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

"He's nuts. She's nuts. All three young ones are nuts. The dog is nuts. And the old lady upstairs is nuts, too."

Mum, Dad, I've met something...

Sketchy Neighborhood

You are what you collect.

'...Joseph A.Peabody seeks out devious methods to add new excitement to his life.'

'Thanks for coming in . ..now I can finish that ankle bracelet I'm working on.'

"And, finally, I can put this charming toy plane on the dress because I am Ungaro."

"That's Julian you can hear, he's really arty-farty this evening"