Eccentric Expressionist T-Shirts

"Instead of careful interpretation of the prose, maybe try pronouncing even the most basic words like an insane person?"

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Use your imagination.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"Avant-garde jazz hands"

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

'Don't you ever knock?'

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

'He swallowed some of his acrylic paints and now he's artsy fartsy.'

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

Elton John

Modern Art 'D Hirst' and 'A Nutter'

Buider, "How crazy do you want this paving, mad,or completely wacko?"

'This elusive self-portrait of the artist is perhaps his most famous work. It was purchased, by the museum, for one hundred and ninety million dollars and is now valued at 900 million dollars...'

"Rapunzel? Rapunzel moved out years ago. I'm Bruce, and I have a stack of old newspaper clippings I'd like to show you."

"Derek has re-invented himself."

"Love the exposed chessboard."

'It's from my strange-but-not-as-strange-as-I-am-now period.'

Rich Man with Lawn Mower followed by Maid with Hoover.

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

"He's nuts. She's nuts. All three young ones are nuts. The dog is nuts. And the old lady upstairs is nuts, too."

"Come at me, Bro!"

Tom Waits.

Mum, Dad, I've met something...

"I'm waiting in for a plumber."

"That's Julian you can hear, he's really arty-farty this evening"

'...Joseph A.Peabody seeks out devious methods to add new excitement to his life.'

"I collect fridge magnets that look like little fridges."

"And, finally, I can put this charming toy plane on the dress because I am Ungaro."

Sketchy Neighborhood