Eastern Medicine Explorer Gifts

'I hope this alternative Chinese medicine works!'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Hot Pie Therapy

'Mom's Spa'

"I'm afraid we're going to have to remove your appendix."

'He's the star of a new medical series.'

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

Clinical Trails. . . Prevention . . . Detection. . . Diagnosis. . . Treatment.

"Okay, Jaxcsunn, stay still in the crystal circle while I douse you in essential oils."

'I can't wait for a generic version of eyes of newts to come out.'

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

"It's just that you might find food a lot cheaper!"

'Laughter is not always the best medicine, Mr. Jonic.'

Philosopher Wang Yangming, China

Wang Yangming takes a scroll of knowledge from a crane.

'Our experimental laser O.R. is in there.'

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"

"Hello, A and E, which department do you need, stabbing, shooting or general GBH?"

"This is just a placebo cast, but it makes a lot of people feel better."

Your insurance doesn't cover leeches, but some patients are reporting good outcomes with the escargot.

Itchy Bum? WD-3000.

"Well Doctor, I thought if a placebo works, this might as well..."

"My goodness, your back is really knotted up this morning, isn't it?"

Acupressure Gauge

'I believe one of the doctors here practices alternative medicine.'

"What's the big deal? All these politicians talk about a health care plan! I have a health care plan!"

'Have you tried Lourdes?'

"So, where'd you learn acupuncture, Doc?"

'Tell me. How many acupuncture treatments did doctor Wing give you?'

"Our medical intuitive will read your now."

"For our session today, I'd like to try something a little different."

"Your tests are back. We've ruled out anything covered by your HMO."

"I'm going to prescribe you four metres of bubble-wrap three times a day."

'I won't be coming to see you again. I've purchased a therapeutic mattress.'