Alternative Medicine Explorers Gifts

The Chiropractor - 'I've been looking forward to this all week!'

'He's the star of a new medical series.'

Pinocchio Acupuncture.

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Self help acupuncture

Hot Pie Therapy

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

'Take two of these, and call me in the morning!'

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

Alternative Medicine.

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

"Okay, Jaxcsunn, stay still in the crystal circle while I douse you in essential oils."

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

'I can't wait for a generic version of eyes of newts to come out.'

"My joints... are almost done"

"Lately my joints are stiff." "You're rollin' 'em too tight. Try vaping."

'We don't have a health plan but our accountant knows Reiki.'

Man passes Holistic Health Clinic and sees Holistic Donuts.

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

"It's just that you might find food a lot cheaper!"

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

Just think if that meteor had never hit planet earth 65 million years ago...

"The doctor says your injury is not serious...we're going home."

Cowboy Acupuncture

Your insurance doesn't cover leeches, but some patients are reporting good outcomes with the escargot.

Acupressure Gauge

"This is just a placebo cast, but it makes a lot of people feel better."

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."