Earthquake Humorist Gifts

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

'Mr. President, our scientist say that the earthquake was caused by an unnamed fault in the Earth's crust.', 'Excellent! -- We'll call it 'Bush's Fault.''

"You have a very long fault line. That's why your hands are trembling."

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

"You overwatered the plant, again."

Shark food pyramid.

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

"You can find me on Inkedin."

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

'That's Hindenburg for you. Just can't express his anger in a positive way.'

Zombie Worker Apocalypse

'It is truly embrarrassing Doc: I faint at the sight of blood... Can you help me?'

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

Fish: 'WHOA,Gesundheit!' / A Fish has sneezed out all of his scales

The End is Near. Have A Cone.

Jelly Fish

'Rest assured, your fear of harpoons is anything but irrational.'

Paramedics carrying a man away after his dinner.

"OK, now here comes the lava."

"Gee, I'm sorry this had to happen on our first date!"

'You called a plumber!'

"I get it...you went south for the winter. Now, don't you think it's time to ditch the shirt?"

"Dad, at school today, they've asked me if the penfish is mightier than the swordfish. Is it?"

'Yeah, I know, but don't worry, I've scared the living daylights out of him: He'll never spear-fish again...'

Luck

"Honestly, Edna, he just wasn't worth it!"

One of Indonesia's most feared Volcanoes: The mighty 'Kraka-toe-a'.

'Hello, my name is Sam. Come to this watering hole very often?'

Zombie Baseball