Disaster Comedian Gifts

Paris experiences worst flooding in 30 years

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"You overwatered the plant, again."

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

'I forgot to cancel the milk!'

"Well, we could just tell everyone we have an indoor pool!"

A child with a parasol is blown off the Chain Pier in Brighton

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

Drunks brought into A&E: Alcohol and Emergent Sick.

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

Paramedics carrying a man away after his dinner.

"OK, now here comes the lava."

'You called a plumber!'

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."

'Mr. President, our scientist say that the earthquake was caused by an unnamed fault in the Earth's crust.', 'Excellent! -- We'll call it 'Bush's Fault.''

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

One of Indonesia's most feared Volcanoes: The mighty 'Kraka-toe-a'.

"Yes you successfully removed the trip hazard, but with hindsight..."

Luck

'If you remember, the last thing I said before the ship went down was, 'don't forget to bring the ball'.'

'I can see the sea!'

'. . . If you need immediate help with the floods I understand Mrs Miggins at No. 9 has a canoe!'

Flood victims see travel agent's advertising Venice

"You have a very long fault line. That's why your hands are trembling."

"So apart from the minor hiccup...how was your cruise?"

'When the fire department arrives, Ms. Lilly... send them right in!'

"... Till death us do part."

Forest Fire Hazard

The end is nigh.