Domestic Disaster Humorist Gifts

"You overwatered the plant, again."

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"Take me to your Larder!"

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

"For God's sake, Lucille. We're IN a vacuum."

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"But I use all of them!"

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

"Why not pay someone to clean out the gutters?" "Total waste of good beer money." And just like that, Gail became a widow.

"Hello?"

'I forgot to cancel the milk!'

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

"Well, we could just tell everyone we have an indoor pool!"

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

Suez Canal Curse

'Don't blame me - It's my husband's cooking!'

"Find out who's got the licensing rights for this Armageddon thing and get them on the phone - quickly."

'I can't take much more of the happiness treadmill.'

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

His and Hernia's towels.

"The piano's in tune, but the house is a little flat."

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work. I overslept.'

'oh...You're home, just when my spirits were rising.'

"Add Your Own Caption Week # 222"

"We couldn't do this before the iron age."

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."