Domestic Disaster Humorist Pillows

"You overwatered the plant, again."

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"Take me to your Larder!"

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

"For God's sake, Lucille. We're IN a vacuum."

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"But I use all of them!"

"Why not pay someone to clean out the gutters?" "Total waste of good beer money." And just like that, Gail became a widow.

"Hello?"

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

'I forgot to cancel the milk!'

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

"Well, we could just tell everyone we have an indoor pool!"

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

'I can't take much more of the happiness treadmill.'

'Don't blame me - It's my husband's cooking!'

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

His and Hernia's towels.

"The piano's in tune, but the house is a little flat."

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work. I overslept.'

"Add Your Own Caption Week # 222"

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

'That's not true, I do listen. I'm just not very interested.'

Man to wife about book: 'Honey, I think the novel wants out.'

"That's not the thrum and rumble of the great metropolis -- that''s the dishwasher."