Disaster Humorist Gifts

"OK, now here comes the lava."

"Looks like the 'Big One' finally hit."

'. . . If you need immediate help with the floods I understand Mrs Miggins at No. 9 has a canoe!'

Caution Wet Floor

'We survived the plane crash, but now an oil spill is heading our way.'

'Will you PLEASE stop saying, 'could be worse.''

'Relax, it's just an 'el niño' year!'

A hurricane recites a nursery rhyme.

'Yeah, I think it's a hardware problem.'

One of Indonesia's most feared Volcanoes: The mighty 'Kraka-toe-a'.

Paramedics carrying a man away after his dinner.

'Come on, let's invade - The bozos can't even handle a little hurricane!'

The Reigning King of Downplay

Unlucky Heather

"Daphne, I'm afraid our date for tonight isn't going to happen."

Luck

"F*ck! I ripped my pants!"

Larry ignored all their warnings. 'The Big One, Larry. The cage won't protect you if the Big One hits'. And then one day it happened.

'This is 911! Sorry we can't take your call right now, our place is on fire!!!'

"Still, you gotta admit crime is down."

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

Steve was innocently playing with his flags when, all of a sudden, something terrible happened.

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

'Fortunately it's the hot water pipe - it will save you having to wash your feet to-night.'

Forest Fire Hazard

"You say half full, I say half empty."

Fishermen in Floods

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

Suez Canal Curse

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"You overwatered the plant, again."

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.