Disaster Humor Enthusiast Gifts

Flood victims see travel agent's advertising Venice

House on Fire

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

"You overwatered the plant, again."

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

Volcanic ash...

Suez Canal Curse

"Find out who's got the licensing rights for this Armageddon thing and get them on the phone - quickly."

A child with a parasol is blown off the Chain Pier in Brighton

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

Paramedics carrying a man away after his dinner.

'That Noah's some sailor, the World is covered in water and he runs aground!'

"OK, now here comes the lava."

'You called a plumber!'

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."

Luck

The mysteries of Noah's ark.

'The gods are angry with the airlines.'

Continental Drift will end in disaster when the Arctic collides with the Antarctic and matter collides with anti-matter and explodes.

"Do I have a personal preparedness plan in case of a national emergency? Well, if screaming while running amok is a plan, then yes, I have a plan."

"Yes you successfully removed the trip hazard, but with hindsight..."

One of Indonesia's most feared Volcanoes: The mighty 'Kraka-toe-a'.

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

'If you remember, the last thing I said before the ship went down was, 'don't forget to bring the ball'.'

'I can see the sea!'

'. . . If you need immediate help with the floods I understand Mrs Miggins at No. 9 has a canoe!'

'When the fire department arrives, Ms. Lilly... send them right in!'

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

Forest Fire Hazard

"... Till death us do part."

"So apart from the minor hiccup...how was your cruise?"

'...Man, I'll be glad when this inning is over.'

"I promised I'd come back for you Gladys, come hell or high water."