Disaster Response Humorist Gifts

"I'm sorry, we should have called you. We postponed the party."

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

"You overwatered the plant, again."

"The good news is it's brightening up..."

'I forgot to cancel the milk!'

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

"Well, we could just tell everyone we have an indoor pool!"

"Find out who's got the licensing rights for this Armageddon thing and get them on the phone - quickly."

Suez Canal Curse

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

"I suppose one of us should call somebody."

Paramedics carrying a man away after his dinner.

"OK, now here comes the lava."

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."

'You called a plumber!'

"Serious drinkers recommend hanging on to the maraschino."

Luck

One of Indonesia's most feared Volcanoes: The mighty 'Kraka-toe-a'.

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

"Yes you successfully removed the trip hazard, but with hindsight..."

'Mr. President, our scientist say that the earthquake was caused by an unnamed fault in the Earth's crust.', 'Excellent! -- We'll call it 'Bush's Fault.''

'I can see the sea!'

'. . . If you need immediate help with the floods I understand Mrs Miggins at No. 9 has a canoe!'

Flood victims see travel agent's advertising Venice

Toilet Roll Drop

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

"You have a very long fault line. That's why your hands are trembling."

Forest Fire Hazard

Of all the days to sleep in!

'Which service do you require, sir - Fire, Police, Ambulance or Bank-rescue?'

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'