Earthquake Survivor Humorist Gifts

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

"You overwatered the plant, again."

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

Fish: 'WHOA,Gesundheit!' / A Fish has sneezed out all of his scales

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

Paramedics carrying a man away after his dinner.

"OK, now here comes the lava."

'You called a plumber!'

One of Indonesia's most feared Volcanoes: The mighty 'Kraka-toe-a'.

'As a kid, whenever I was at a petting zoo, I got bit, butted and stomped on.'

'Every school has a class clown.'

Luck

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

'Mr. President, our scientist say that the earthquake was caused by an unnamed fault in the Earth's crust.', 'Excellent! -- We'll call it 'Bush's Fault.''

'Phew, now, where can i plug my mobile in?'

"Yes you successfully removed the trip hazard, but with hindsight..."

'. . . If you need immediate help with the floods I understand Mrs Miggins at No. 9 has a canoe!'

Flood victims see travel agent's advertising Venice

"You have a very long fault line. That's why your hands are trembling."

'Well, this is embarrassing.'

'You're a little overweight.'

You're so lucky, my stripes make me look fat.

Octopus Manicure.

"No arguments. You've got an interview tomorrow and you need to be really smart."

Please Don't Ask...

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

Forest Fire Hazard

'What'

'Water? What's that? I've never heard of it!'

"He gets cranky if I don't fill in my timesheet every week, and believe me, you don't want to get him cranky!"

Turkey Baster