Flood Survivor Humorist Gifts

'I think he's saying we've flooded the engine.'

Climate Change Winner

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

Guide fish.

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

'I won't let global warming change my lifestyle.'

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

"Well, we could just tell everyone we have an indoor pool!"

"Find out who's got the licensing rights for this Armageddon thing and get them on the phone - quickly."

Another hot flash?

Shark Chum

High tide.

Suez Canal Curse

'Damn! I was saving that for a rainy day!'

Fish Farm.

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

"I have to go on a diet! According to that fisherman I have gained fifty pounds overnight!!"

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

"Of course I'm self-absorbed. I'm a sponge!"

How Lawyers Evolved.

Need to turn up heat(fish crowd heater in aquirium).

Fish: 'WHOA,Gesundheit!' / A Fish has sneezed out all of his scales

'I wonder why goldfish are gold.' - 'So they don't rust.'

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

Paramedics carrying a man away after his dinner.

'I'm a Pisces.'

'You see these things, you don't bite them, you suck them out...'

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

"You see, if we learn to swim upside down, they won't see us coming..."

"OK, now here comes the lava."

'You called a plumber!'

Flood-stricken woman saves goldfish

Luck