Flood Comedy Enthusiast Gifts

'How are the greens today? A little slow perhaps.'

'Luxury cruise you said!'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

Of all the times for us to run in to team GB's Olympic synchronised swimming squad!

'...and the property lies in a beautiful valley by the banks of the river...'

'Expecting a bit of wet weather Reg...?'

"Well, we could just tell everyone we have an indoor pool!"

High tide.

'Two pencils approach Noah's ark.'

"I thought you meant we had a security leak."

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

"Every once in a while this house comes with a pool."

Climate Change Contingency House

"When the rubber duck reaches eye level it's a flood. . . wow, brilliant!"

'Do you suppose we might qualify for asylum in Holland?'

"Has anyone fed the goldfish?"

"Excuse me....water!!"

'I'll call you back. I'm out with the dog in the fields at the moment.'

"Look! They're closing the doors! Hurry! I promise we're not going to the vet!"

'Well, stop watching him if it makes you stress over flood insurance.'

'Did I or did I not say, no woodworm?!'

Flood victims see travel agent's advertising Venice

"You know a lot about global warming. When will we be able to swim up central park west?"

Mexico braces for more floods.

'My basement is flooded, so I figure, why stay home and stand in water when I can go fly fishing instead?'

Water Department Flood

'Quite a downpour wasn't it?'

Next train: Deluged

'Bernie, sell my insurance stocks! Buy boat companies!'

Flooding

"Ease up on the gas you're flooding it."

'Get lost, two's company, three's a shoal.'

A TV with a tap has a person drowning on the screen.

'I hate the monsoon season!'