Water Hazard Humorist Gifts

"I said to make a left at the fourteenth green!!"

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

Dog wearing a cone

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

Cross-country runners picking up water and spare batteries.

Guide fish.

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

That dolphin drinks like a fish.

'...and this is the water garden...'

Hydration

Of all the times for us to run in to team GB's Olympic synchronised swimming squad!

High tide.

Another hot flash?

Shark Chum

Fish Farm.

'It's self cleaning, and runs on natural gas.'

"This is a terrible table!"

"Of course I'm self-absorbed. I'm a sponge!"

"I have to go on a diet! According to that fisherman I have gained fifty pounds overnight!!"

"Rising sea levels."

"Here he comes! Don't move."

'There! another batch of clean coal.'

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

How Lawyers Evolved.

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

Need to turn up heat(fish crowd heater in aquirium).

You Are Here.

Fish: 'WHOA,Gesundheit!' / A Fish has sneezed out all of his scales

Perfect solution. Free street lighting, and we sell the surplus to the national grid.

Acme Coffee Co.

'I wonder why goldfish are gold.' - 'So they don't rust.'

Just think! If the mall goes bust, what happens to all that paved-over land? Save our mall. We could roll up the asphalt and start a huge nature preserve. What about current wildlife? Hmm�You're right. I don't think the endangered species act covers mall rats.

'I'm a Pisces.'