Seismic Comedian Gifts

"Looks like the 'Big One' finally hit."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

"Extreme miming"

"Houston, we have a problem."

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Admit it, we're lost."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

Sock Puppet in Literature

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

'Gravity...Go figure!'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

'You caught it, you gut it!'

Optimist

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

The Origins of Everything

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

Neil Armstrong Outtakes

Science fiction fans on other planets

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'