Seismic Comedian Gifts

"Looks like the 'Big One' finally hit."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Extreme miming"

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'Gravity...Go figure!'

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'You caught it, you gut it!'

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

Sock Puppet in Literature

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

"Admit it, we're lost."

Optimist

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

Science fiction fans on other planets

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

The Origins of Everything

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Shoot For The Moon