Concrete Comedian Gifts

Real speech bubble.

"Extreme miming"

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

Lumber Yard. Luxury Homes! Some Assembly Required.

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

"Frosty the Repairman"

Building a better America - Financing by The Bank of China.

Dave, determined to go green by using only solar powered tools, will hereafter check weather reports before making bids.

'There's no use complaining, clause 34 section 67 of your contract says '...and any other duties as outlined by your manager'.'

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

We agreed that your contract was too complicated so we redrafted it to cover your new responsibilities...

A musician bowing a tiny guitar

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

Dominoes

'In the middle of the second movement, Rodney's worst fears were realized; Phillippe began to sing along.'

"We had to put three screws in his neck and a steel plate in his head."

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

'When I said I was going to resign my contract, I meant re-sign my contract for another five years!'

'If the drain's clogged with food, why not clean it out with some high fiber bran flakes?'

Monet At Open Mic Night

Private work adjustments

Eat your salad. Blurg! Now! Quick! Put it into my bag! Finito. Mother! You've started up your compost pile, haven't you? You make it sound so rotten!

'That's gonna be a big job, boss.'

I like going across the frame of this solar energy facility we're building. I'm waling on a sunbeam!

Is the heating contractor mad about something? He just needs space to vent?