Concrete Comedian Gifts

Real speech bubble.

"Extreme miming"

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

Building a better America - Financing by The Bank of China.

"Frosty the Repairman"

Dave, determined to go green by using only solar powered tools, will hereafter check weather reports before making bids.

'There's no use complaining, clause 34 section 67 of your contract says '...and any other duties as outlined by your manager'.'

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

We agreed that your contract was too complicated so we redrafted it to cover your new responsibilities...

A musician bowing a tiny guitar

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

Dominoes

'In the middle of the second movement, Rodney's worst fears were realized; Phillippe began to sing along.'

"We had to put three screws in his neck and a steel plate in his head."

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

'When I said I was going to resign my contract, I meant re-sign my contract for another five years!'

Monet At Open Mic Night

'That's gonna be a big job, boss.'

'If the drain's clogged with food, why not clean it out with some high fiber bran flakes?'

Private work adjustments

Super Homeworld