Artistic Comedian Gifts

Ye Olde FIgure-Drawing Classe

"I'm hoping that once we enter the Bronze Age I'll be able to get a better likeness of you."

Monet At Open Mic Night

Eggskimos: Eskimos in the form of Eggs.

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Showbiz Awards

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

Zombie standup

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

'Your French dip, sir.'

Trump pardons

'The circle is complete!'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

A Guide to Balloon Animals

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

No-Work Orange