Artful Comedian Gifts

'If they don't laugh, we'll say it's art.'

The Hand Puppet's Dinner

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"The Eggsorcist"

Fishing from the Pier

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

The opera - 'Please, sir, give us your ticket, if you ain;t a-goin' in again.'

O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art though, Romeo? Seriously, wherefore art thou? Shakespeare in the Dark.

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

"Let's play make-believe. I'll diagnose you with a life-threatening illness, then cure you with a wonder-drug that turns out to be a placebo."

'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

"Being with you is just getting too surreal for me, Larry."

'Bront?saurus.'

Gustav Holst

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

I'll admit I haven't been waiting all my life to meet you, but I have waited through a rough pencil sketch, the inking process and Photoshop lettering. Surely that's worth something! !?!

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

'Who stuck corks on all the cursors?'

"Can you sign this copy I downloaded off the internet?"

"Oh, O.K. I can sort of see it."

Jackson Pollock - "Oh no! Someone's thrown paint all over it!"

"It's obviously an original."

"The last doggy bag."

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

Medusa's baby picture

"Have we looked as though we know what it is, for long enough yet?"

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

'Have you considered drawing other people?'

After talking one stranger to death, Velma starts in on the next.

Art Museum: Our exhibit of forgotten masters continues with What's His Name...