Comedy Artist Gifts

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

"The last doggy bag."

'You, you, you. Why is it always about you?'

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Showbiz Awards

Zombie standup

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Trump pardons

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

'The circle is complete!'

'Your French dip, sir.'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

"We're following Carrot Top."

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

The Rooster Comedian.

No-Work Orange

A Guide to Balloon Animals