Art Comedian Gifts

'You paint abstract, why do I need to be nude?'

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"The Eggsorcist"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

Fishing from the Pier

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

The opera - 'Please, sir, give us your ticket, if you ain;t a-goin' in again.'

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil clowns is that good clowns do nothing."

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

"Being with you is just getting too surreal for me, Larry."

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

Gustav Holst

I'll admit I haven't been waiting all my life to meet you, but I have waited through a rough pencil sketch, the inking process and Photoshop lettering. Surely that's worth something! !?!

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

"Oh, O.K. I can sort of see it."

Jackson Pollock - "Oh no! Someone's thrown paint all over it!"

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

"The last doggy bag."

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

Medusa's baby picture

"It's obviously an original."

"Have we looked as though we know what it is, for long enough yet?"

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

'If they don't laugh, we'll say it's art.'

'Have you considered drawing other people?'

Monet At Open Mic Night

'I never forget a face.'

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

Pull my finger.

Art Museum: Our exhibit of forgotten masters continues with What's His Name...

'It says this artist is making a statement about man's struggle with the rising cost of oil paint.'

'You're messing with my head.'