Drama Director Gifts

'That script to theatre to film to video scenario... I've short cut it.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"Just be yourself."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

James Bond in a Snow Globe

Showbiz Awards

Director/Action Man toy.

Benedict Cumberbatch

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

'They all want to play the star.'

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Golfing Boss

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

Bo're'droom

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'Hamlet'